I Warned You
by AngelofMercy86
Summary: Xavier warned Logan not to smoke in the mansion. What happens when Logan doesn't take Xavier's warning seriously? PG for rude humor and mild language.


Author's note: This story takes place two years after X2 and Jean is back 'cause I need her to braid Logan's hair! I came up with the idea for this story while I was watching X2. Sorry if this has been done before by any chance. If so, I honestly did not know. Enjoy the crazy story!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own X-Men or Barbie. Nope. I do wish I owned Gambit and Nightcrawler though ~_^  
  
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Just another typical day at the Xavier institute. Not much was happening. Mutant kids were running around, young couples were making plans for dinner, and the adults were doing stuff that adults usually did on the weekend.  
  
Logan AKA Wolverine walked down the hall to get to the kitchen as he put a cigar in his mouth. He took out a match and lit the cigar.  
  
Kitty "Shadowcat" Pyrde, Kurt "Nightcrawler" Wagner, Ororo "Storm" Munroe- Wagner, and Marie AKA Rogue sat in the kitchen as Wolverine walked in with that awful cigar.  
  
"Mr. Logan!" Kitty whined. "That is, like, soooo gross!"  
  
"Didn't Xavier warn you about smoking in the mansion?" Ororo asked.  
  
"He won't find out," Logan shrugged reaching into the fridge for a soda. "I'd rather have a beer!" he thought.  
  
Then they heard the sound of an electric wheelchair come towards them.  
  
"Sounds lahke the prof's on his way," Rogue said.  
  
Sure enough he was.  
  
"Logan," Xavier said as he wheeled himself in the room. "What did I tell you?"  
  
"Uhhh," Logan said holding his cigar in his hand.  
  
"I warned you," Xavier said.  
  
"Oh crap," Logan said.  
  
"Damn!" Rogue laughed.  
  
"Oooooooh!" Logan said like a child getting on to someone. "You just said a bad woooooord!"  
  
Rogue, Kurt, Ororo, and Kitty's eyes widened.  
  
"Whah is he actin' lahke a chahld?" (child) Rogue asked.  
  
"I'm not a boy!" Logan glared at Rogue.  
  
"He is under the belief that he is a six year old girl," Xavier answered.  
  
Kurt tried to hold in his laughter, but it was no good. He began bursting out in a fit of laughter.  
  
"I'm sorry!" Kurt gasped. "But zat's too funny!"  
  
Kitty and Rogue were surprised Kurt would laugh at something like that.  
  
"Mr. Wagner, will you pway with meeeeeeee?" Logan asked.  
  
Kurt started laughing again.  
  
"Oh, mein Gott!" he laughed.  
  
That also surprised Rogue and Kitty.  
  
"Logan, would you like for Jean to braid your hair?" Xavier asked.  
  
"Yes!" Logan exclaimed.  
  
"I'll go get her," Xavier said and wheeled himself out.  
  
Logan walked up to Ororo and tugged her shirt.  
  
"Yes?" Ororo asked.  
  
"I gotta go to the bathwoom!" Logan said. "I can't go awone!"  
  
Her eyes widened.  
  
"Pwease!" Logan pleaded.  
  
"Vould you like me to help you instead?" Kurt asked.  
  
"No!" Logan shook his head. "You're a BOY! A boy can't take a girl to the bathwoom!"  
  
Kurt blinked.  
  
Rogue and Kitty snickered.  
  
"Okay, I'll help you," Ororo said.  
  
Logan reached out his hand for hers. It felt very awkward for her to take Logan by the hand and to the girl's restroom.  
  
"Eww! He's, like, gonna use our bathroom?!" Kitty gasped.  
  
"Looks like eet," Kurt said. "I feel sorry for you two fruleins."  
  
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Fifteen minutes later Ororo returned with a very bouncy Logan.  
  
"Vell?" Kurt asked.  
  
"He got piss all over the place!" Ororo sighed.  
  
"Ooooooh!" Logan said. "Mrs. Wagner said a baaaad woooord!"  
  
"Ahh shuddup!" Rogue said.  
  
Logan's eyes grew big and glossy.  
  
"Uh-oh," Kurt said.  
  
Logan started sniffling.  
  
"You **sniff** are **sniff** mean! WAAAH!"  
  
"Oh-MY-GAWSH!" Rogue's mouth dropped.  
  
"Logan's friggin' crying!" Kitty gasped.  
  
"What be all de cryin'?" said the Cajun man named Remy "Gambit" Lebeau as he walked into the room. "What de hell?! Why is de Wolvie cryin'?!"  
  
"He zinks he's a six year old girl," Kurt answered simply.  
  
Remy started laughing.  
  
"Ah made 'im crah," Rogue said.  
  
Remy laughed harder. "Mon chere made de oh so tough Wolverine cry?!"  
  
At that moment Jean "Phoenix" Grey-Summers walked in.  
  
"Remy, did you make him cry?" she asked when she saw Remy laughing and Logan crying.  
  
"Non!" Remy said between laughter. "Roguey did!"  
  
"He looks so pathetic," Kitty said. "I feel sorry for him!"  
  
"I'm going to find out how long ze professor is going to keep zis up," Kurt said and 'ported out of the room.  
  
"Logan," Jean said nicely. "Would you like your hair braided?"  
  
"**Sniff** yes," he answered.  
  
"Okay, come on," Jean said directing Logan out.  
  
BAMF  
  
"Ze whole day!" Kurt announced.  
  
"Oh mah gawsh!" Rogue gasped.  
  
"Too funny," Kitty said. "I, like, have an idea! Jean wait up!" With that, Kitty ran out of the room.  
  
"No tellin' whut that girl's up ta," Rogue shook her head.  
  
"Can't be good," Ororo said.  
  
"Ja, I agree," Kurt added.  
  
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"Aww you look so cute with braided hair!" Kitty gushed.  
  
Jean started laughing. "We have to take a picture."  
  
"Hang on. I'll, like, go get my camera," Kitty said running out of the room.  
  
"Got it!" Kitty announced running back in. She then took a few pictures of Logan. "Heehee I think we should, like, dress him up!"  
  
"Oh you're terrible!" Jean laughed.  
  
"I'll go, like, get some girly clothes," Kitty said. "And my old Barbie dolls."  
  
Jean's eyes widened.  
  
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"Awww he, like, looks so cute!" Kitty gushed.  
  
"Good God," Jean said looking at Logan dressed in a frilly pink dress that was way too small for him. He also had pink bows in his hair.  
  
Kitty then took lots of pictures.  
  
Logan happily played with Kitty's old dolls.  
  
Jean blinked a few times.  
  
Kitty giggled as she continued taking pictures.  
  
"Let's show him off to the others now!" she squealed.  
  
"Okay," Jean said taking Logan by the hand.  
  
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Blink. Blink. Blink.......was all Rogue, Remy, Ororo, and Kurt could do.  
  
"Guten Gott!" Kurt mumbled.  
  
"De Wolverine in a dress," Remy smirked. "Not somet'ing y' see everyday."  
  
"I, like, took lots of pics!" Kitty gushed. "I can't wait to copy them and, like, post them all over the institute!"  
  
"I want chocolate milk!" Logan said.  
  
Rogue laughed. "But don't ya want a beer instead?" she asked.  
  
"Yuck!" Logan said sticking out his tongue.  
  
"What about a cigar?" Remy asked.  
  
"Smoking is yuckie!" Logan said.  
  
Ororo mixed chocolate syrup with some milk and handed the glass to Logan.  
  
"Thank you, Mrs. Wagner!" he gushed.  
  
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That night Ororo, Kurt, Rogue, Remy, and Kitty sat in the common room watching Logan while he continued playing with the Barbie dolls.  
  
"Zis eez vay too funny," Kurt whispered. "I'm only laughing because he vas very rude to me vhen ve first met."  
  
"I wanted to pound him that day," Ororo whispered back.  
  
"Ah feel kahnda (kinda) bad," Rogue said to Remy.  
  
"Why?" Remy asked.  
  
"'Cause his done so much for me and Ah'm sittin' 'ere laughing as he's acting lahke a six year old."  
  
"Dun' worry 'bout it, chere," he said.  
  
"How's Logan doing?" Xavier asked as he wheeled himself into the room.  
  
"Still playin' with them dolls," Rogue answered.  
  
"Well it's time to bring him back to normal," he said.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" Logan screamed when he found himself in a frilly pink dress playing with Barbie dolls.  
  
Everyone burst out into laughter.  
  
"Now maybe you will take my warning seriously about smoking in the mansion?" Xavier asked.  
  
"Fine," Logan grunted. "Elf, 'port me to my room so I can change clothes!"  
  
"Okay, Herr Logan," Kurt said.  
  
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A few days later,  
  
Logan walked out of his room and started walking down the hall for breakfast when he saw a group of kids laughing at something on the wall.  
  
"What's so funny?" he asked.  
  
"You!" Jubilee laughed.  
  
Everyone moved out of the way revealing a poster size picture of Logan in a pink frilly dress playing with Kitty's old Barbie dolls.  
  
"KATHERINE PRYDE!" Logan roared.  
  
"Yes Mr. Logan?" Kitty asked phasing out of her room.  
  
"What the hell is this?!" he demanded pointing to the poster.  
  
"You dressed like that when you were a girl," she laughed.  
  
"Is that the only one?" he asked.  
  
"Nope," she answered. "Rogue, Ororo, Kurt, Remy, and I posted them everywhere. With Xavier's help of course."  
  
Logan's eyes widened.  
  
"STORM, NIGHTCRAWLER, GAMBIT, ROGUE!!!!!!!!"  
  
Xavier laughed as he sat in the kitchen with Ororo, Kurt, Rogue, and Remy.  
  
"I warned him," he said simply.  
  
`*`*`*`*`*The End`*`*`*`*`* 


End file.
